A Gentleman's Guide To Affection In Early Dating

Many relationships begin with various forms of physical touch, from a quick kiss on the cheek to full blown sexual intercourse on a first date. However for a gentleman who is serious about dating and finding his potential wife, affection must be approached very carefully and respectfully. The goal is for your love interest, "Lady A," to always feel safe, cared for and unpressured whenever she is in your presence. Here are some important guidelines for physical touch and intimacy during the first 2-3 months of dating "Lady A":

• Hand-holding during months 1-3 is quite acceptable, safe and allows you to measure a woman's receptiveness of a physical gesture. If Lady A interlaces her fingers or wraps them around yours, she is open to the gesture.  If  Lady A pulls her hand away, do not pursue it again for at least another 3 weeks.  This doesn't mean a rejection of you; some women are extra shy regarding public displays of affection. If after 3 months she is not receptive to hand-holding, she may not be into you.  Proceed with caution.

• Be very cautious with hugs. Allow Lady A to initiate hugs during months 1-3 or ask her permission before leaning in. The embrace of a hug even as a friendly greeting can easily be considered too intimate or unwanted touch.

• Be mindful of compliments in early dating. Women embrace Words of Affirmation differently during various stages of a relationship. During months 1-3, keep your comments and compliment  non-sexual in nature. Look Lady A directly in the eyes when  speaking. This conveys sincerity. Compliment neutral things such as her eyes, hair, smile, hands or color of her outfit. Even legs are off limits. Avoid sexual innuendos, vulgarity, foul language or any disparaging jokes about women. 

• No direct kiss on the lips during the first 3-4 dates. A kiss on the cheek is acceptable if Lady A expresses her approval. Remember that your goal is to always make her feel safe and unpressured. 

• Pay for the first 2 dates minimum. If money is a concern, pick a nice place that you can afford. One that is clean and in a safe neighborhood. There are many inexpensive places to take a date. Check local publications in your area. Avoid movie theaters for first and second dates. They are a 2 hour commitment, dark and can convey pressure for intimacy. Avoid clubs and bars too early. Sobriety is highly recommended for dates through the 3rd month. Outdoor activities like local street fairs and ice cream on the boardwalk are fun, inexpensive noncommittal and lighthearted. 

I will repeat the goal for the first 3 months of dating Lady A, to "keep her feeling safe, cared for and unpressured." For the man who is serious about finding and marrying a woman for life, the first 3 months is a getting to know you period. There should be no rush for intimacy which can easily cloud a man's judgement regarding the quality of his dating. If Lady A pushes for deep affection and intimacy within the first 3 months, proceed with caution. Get to know each other early on and most of all just have fun!

The Doctor is in...

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Dr. Sue is the coach for "The man who has everything but his wife." Let her take the mystery out of relating to the right woman. Getting married is easy, staying married takes more than romance, it is a skill. This skill requires sincerity, self development and commitment and begins with the basic principles. Dr. Sue is a Marriage & Family Coach of 15 years, accepting private clients from anywhere via Whatsapp and Skype.  Payment is accepted via Zelle or Cashapp. If you are a man seeking personal and confidential coaching, email Dr. Sue for appointments at 4MenWhoMarry@gmail.com. or click here.